Sometimes as parents whether it’s your first or fifth child, you wish that people would give you a chance to birth or parent your child as you see fit. You want things this way not because you “have all the answers” but because sometimes parent intuitions is best. However other times because you have so many people telling you what you should do, and it gets overwhelming. Sometimes these things can cause a parent to feel like they are inadequate.
We know family and friends mean well, but when a lot of people are telling you what to do, you want to shut down. Sometimes you feel like your caught in the middle of a birth or parenting “war”. When all you really want is to think freely for yourself.
I’ve had many parents ask, “How can I politely decline advice from family and friends?” In 6 sentences you can effectively state your feelings without singling out any particular person all while being respectful.
DEAR, FAMILY AND FRIENDS
BRINGING HOME A NEW BABY (OR GIVING BIRTH) CAN BE AN ADJUSTMENT. WITH THE WORLD WE LIVE IN TODAY WHERE EVERYTHING A MOM AND DAD DOES IS CONSTANTLY UNDER SCRUTINY. WE JUST WANT TO DO WHAT’S BEST FOR OUR INDIVIDUAL FAMILY. WE KNOW YOU MEAN WELL WITH YOUR ADVICE, YOU’VE RAISED (AND OR BIRTHED) CHILDREN AND A LOT OF THINGS HAVE WORKED FOR YOU. HOWEVER THERE ARE SOMETHINGS THAT WE WOULD LIKE TO FIGURE OUT FOR OURSELVES AS PARENTS.
WE IN NO WAY HAVE ALL OF THE ANSWERS, AND WE JUST ASK THAT YOU WILL TRUST US ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT, WHEN WE REALLY DO NEED HELP AND SUGGESTIONS OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS WILL BE THE FIRST PEOPLE WE RELY ON.
(YOUR NAME HERE)
Whether you choose to write a letter or call, it’s important to set boundaries when you’re getting overwhelmed with advice. The happier you are the more you can focus on your little one and/or birth.
Please feel free to edit to suit your family needs.
At Destination Baby our Doulas, provide unbiased support for Maryland family. We understand that every family is unique and that there are multiple way to achieve the birth and/or parenting style you desire. We trust and support families to make the decisions that best suits their lifestyle.